The Village Girl texts's Blog

A diary, a Journey, a meditation, a conversation through my life in 2010

Living without you May 16, 2010

Filed under: Love and Relationships — thevillagegirltexts @ 2:09 pm

Living without you is like having half of my life taken away. When you left me I was helpless and alone. You were the only person that could make my life worth. I would talk to you in my mind and in my sleep. I had so many things to tell you and to ask you, but I had no way to hear from you ever again. I was sad because I could never see you laughing at my accent or getting mad at me for being late. I think about you every single day and night of my life. I wonder if you are my angel, I want to know that you were gone without pain, I want to know if it was really you who came to say good bye to me that night. I want to know how would our lives be now if you were alive.

I wanted to say sorry for being mean to you sometimes, for lying to you and say I didn’t want to marry you, when being with you was the only goal of my whole life. I’m sorry for saying I didn’t want to have babies with you, when I just wanted to give you a son with your same eyes and your same smile.

I miss you, I miss you every minute, every hour, every day of my life, and I’ll always miss you. Sometimes I think that if you are watching me, you are disappointed at me. If you can read my mind or my words you’ll understand that all the mistakes I made since you died and all the mistakes I’m doing right now is because not having you killed a part of myself. I know you told me that if I have been hurt I should stand up and keep living, is very hard for me.

I am two persons now, the one in my memories, with you by my side, and the one alone, without you by my side. I’m learning to live happy on my side without you and I’ll be happy because you are already a part of me.

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